Counting to 26

couple tricks, for whatever they're worth.

1) hypnotize yourself into thinking:

• 26 miles = 1 mile
• 1 mile = 4 laps
• 1 lap = 6-7 miles

since 26 miles is too much to think about, really, you gotta chunk it up into sections, and since everyone's used to running 4 laps around the track to make one mile, the idea is to imagine yourself running one (very, very long) mile instead.

so, if you pick a 6 (or 7) mile loop from your house, or use the loop around salem lake (which is perfect for the purposes of this exercise), you have to think to yourself the whole way through the first loop that, yeah, you're tired, and want to quit, but you're only in the first lap, and you gotta be able to finish at least one stinkin' lap so you tough it out and then on longer days when you do two such loops, the whole time through the first loop you're thinking that you can't quit because you've got another loop to go and then during the second loop reminding yourself that, yeah, you're tired, but you're still only doing two laps and everyone can run at least a half-mile and then on those few really long days (like 18 or 20 or 22 miles) you do the loop three times and still you're saying to yourself at least you don't have to do the whole mile today so that when marathon day comes you can say to yourself in that last fourth of the route, yeah, you're tired, and want to quit, but you've only got one little lap to to go.

b) get a mantra. like, say, the "hail mary". unbelievable how the cadence of that can coincide with your steps and breathing:

• hail mary, exhale
• full of grace, exhale
• the lord is with thee, exhale
• and blessed is the fruit, exhale
• of thy womb jesus, exhale
• holy mary, exhale
• mother of god, exhale
• pray for us sinners, exhale
• now and at the hour, exhale
• of our death amen, exhale

could say like a million rosaries thus in the last four miles, making up for all those times you were goofing off in your parochial school daze, and rendering moot that you blew off church and went to salem lake instead. plus which, that last line about the hour death becomes ironic seeing as how you've got a long way to go yet, and in any case you are currently lucky enough to be strong like bull.

alternatively, you could use that catchy white stripes song, "now mary":

• now mary, exhale
• can't you find a way, exhale
• to bring me down?, exhale
• i'm so sorry exhale,
• that I had to go, exhale
• and let you down, exhale
• sumpin' sumpin' sumpin', exhale
• what a season, exhale
• to be beautiful, exhale
• without a reason, exhale

a post-modern prayer -- "what a season to be beautiful without a reason" -- it's uplifting, inane, and maddeningly repeatable.

three) otherwise, you could likewise use a list -- like, say, the presidents of the united states in reverse chronological order, or the pittsburgh pirates starting line-up during their last world series season, or the periodic table -- and saying same (to yourself, of course) towards the end of each "lap" will help pass the time, is all, such that you don't focus on your wet clothes or emerging poison ivy or mild leg cramp or dull headache or declining speed or impending rainstorm or the unmowed lawn or unfed children/pets.

iv) don't forget: www.bodyglide.com is your friend.

--wpk